Thank you for the text, Maya, it was beautifully written, strong and compelling and, well, human.

While reading the story, and enjoying the experience of a really good piece of writing, while feeling a deep respect for the courage it took you to write it, I have however felt the parallel stream of horror over the late abortion, its physical and emotional toll, why, oh, why so late, swirling in my head.

Now, sometimes it’s not the right time, or the right person, or just not the right world to bring the child into. It’s a hard decision, and it should be hard. But how long does it take? How long should it take? Here in Norway, we’ve had a free abortion for close to fifty years now. Free meaning it’s completely up to the woman, no questions asked, not ever, and free as in “you don’t pay a dime”. But it comes as part of a package: “free abortion” and “12 weeks”, always said in the same breath, always. You find out you’re pregnant, that’s normally no later than a 6 weeks mark, and you know the deadline, the moment you think “abortion” you think “12 weeks”, and now you know you have no more than 6 weeks left. That’s a month and a half. You think, you make your mind, you unmake your mind, you talk to your boyfriend, your father, your therapist. You don’t go around saying you’re pregnant, we’re strongly advised against that in Norway, also in wanted pregnancies, because so many of them end in a miscarriage in these early weeks. Until the 12th week, just don’t drink alcohol, and pretend you’re not. Don’t talk, don’t share, don’t hope. So, it’s not that different for us who want to have a baby, and us who don’t. We’re not pregnant, not really. Just pretend pregnant. A month and a half. Then you go to a clinic, you don’t have to go via your GP, no referral, you just go to any OBG clinic, we don’t have abortion clinics over here, you get a pill. You come back two days later, you get some more pills. You can wait for it there then, but you could also go home. You’ll cramp, you’ll bleed, but no fentanyl, no doctor twisting once, twice, three times, just an extraordinarily nasty period. And some bleeding for two to three weeks.

So that’s an abortion for 96% of women in a country with free abortions, and with, and this might come out strange, what I’d like to see as an abortion culture: “free abortion” and “12 weeks” coming out in the same breath, always.

After the 12 weeks? It’s a hustle. A committee: Always a man, always a woman, and another member. You have to tell them why you want an abortion, and why you didn’t get it while you could. Most would really really really not have that conversation, another incentive to do it the first 12 weeks, so very few end up in front of the committee. Still, it’s an open secret that everyone gets it approved the first couple of weeks. And then it gets harder by the week, both to get the abortion approved, and to get it done. But still no fentanyl, no 24h observation, no insane thirst. You get a local anesthesia, and then you’re discharged an hour or two later. It’s harder on the body, it’d harder on the mind, as it should be.

And then another limit: 18 weeks. After that, you can’t have an abortion unless there’s something very wrong with the foster. The country of free abortions draws the line at 18 weeks: After 18 weeks, it’s not just you your body, your choice, after 18 weeks the foster comes into the picture. It’s now we’re talking hospital stays, the doctor twisting, once, twisting twice, the third time, heavy drugs and heavy grieving. Those abortions are not hidden, not connected with any sense of shame, when you hear “late abortion” in Norway, you know there was no choice, that the foster was not viable. We acknowledge the pain, we comfort the woman as if she lost her child, which she did, without ever having the joy of laying her eyes on it.

I won’t be so endlessly insensitive to speculate why you waited so long, I’m just so sorry you went through such a traumatic experience, it could have been so much easier, it should have been so much easier.

We’re following your abortion struggle from over here, but what comes to us is unnuanced and confusing, perhaps because they’re so many states, so many legislations. But I don’t think I’ve seen much differentiating between early and late abortion, I wish there was more of it, I think your fight would be easier. I’m so sorry this is happening to you, to each of you, and all of you.